


Immortals

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Drinking, Drunkenness, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Girls Kissing, I think this can be kleinsen if you really squint, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared is a lonely boi, Kissing, Lesbian Character, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Pining, Pizza, Rated for alcohol and swearing, Restaurants, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Sleep, Swearing, Tree Bros, Wine, but that's not my intention, i'm really milking the whole tag thing at this point, it's innocent for now, probably?? there's no angst yet but it's coming soon, they're all greek gods/goddesses, trigger warning: self harm, zolana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-01 12:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12704670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Zoe, Alana, Jared, Evan, and Connor are Greek gods and goddesses navigating love, work, and the rest of Olympus.





	1. A Nice Duo

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Starysky205 for the idea of the greek myth AU!
> 
> Evan is Oxylus, god of forests and mountains (but he’ll probably end up being a more general nature god whoops)  
> Zoe is Melinoe, goddess of ghosts AND Astraea, goddess of stars bc I couldn’t decide  
> Connor is Thanatos, god of death (original, I know). technically Thanatos is sort of the Grim Reaper and just stays in the underworld but I'm bending it a bit  
> Alana is Polymatheia, muse of knowledge  
> Jared is Eros, god of love, AND Hedylogos, god of sweet talk and flattery bc that ties together well (I think??? we’ll see lol)  
> also for the sake of the story there are multiple love gods so Jared doesn't handle every single couple  
> so yeah they’re all using their names from the musical, but these are the gods they are specifically based off of because I’ve never been one to half-ass my shenanigans so y’all are gonna get some HISTORICALLY ACCURATE SHIT.
> 
> also this will most likely be very strongly influenced by Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan but you don’t have to know the books to get the fic.

Evan walked through the forest, staring blissfully at the sky as he maneuvered around the trees without a thought. Whenever the seasons changed, Evan would spend an entire day wandering about and admiring nature. He was at peace; no one to talk to, no responsibilities he had to begrudgingly carry out, no standards he had to uphold.

Basically, nothing that worked up his anxiety.

Gods were supposed to be born free of ailments. Sure, maybe some had problematic personalities, but nothing was actually _wrong_ with them. At birth, at least. But then came Evan, with a rather severe social anxiety disorder. No one was afraid of him, exactly, but his reputation didn’t make him the most trustworthy of the gods. But he was destined to reign over nature, which provided him with solitude and peace. Solitude quickly became boring, however. He decided, slightly reluctantly, to share his home with Jared, a love god with whom he was similar in age (though age was relative, of course, considering they were immortal).

Jared had an… _interesting_ personality. On the inside he cared more than anyone else, but he always kept a shell of jokes and barely-concealed annoyance around him. Maybe it was due to the twisted irony of his existence: as a love deity, he was unable to fall in love with anyone else. Or maybe it was because he was worried about Evan and showed it in a really weird way.

Maybe it was both. 

The two of them together made a great pair. Their work was separate, but they always spent their free time together, doing whatever the hell they pleased because they were immortal, after all.

Evan was there to listen to Jared rant on and on about how angsty one of the relationships he was working on was becoming, and Jared helped Evan through his panic attacks. The two had a strong friendship, and it showed in everything they did.

It was a nice duo.

* * *

“Zoe, we have to go! Mortal lives are at stake!”

“Mortal lives are always at stake, idiot!” Loud footsteps pounded through the floor of the second story. Zoe quickly ran down the stairs of their shared home and breathlessly faced her brother.

Connor rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, but you know it’s dangerous to wait too–“

“To wait too long to bring death, yada yada yada. I know. Can we go now?”

Connor looked Zoe up and down before scowling. She was sporting her usual look: no makeup, hair pulled up in a bun so messy Connor sometimes wondered if there was even a purpose in tying it up, combat boots, ripped jeans, and a ratty old shirt. Most of the deities enjoyed luxurious clothing and a grand appearance, but no, not Zoe. She wouldn’t be caught dead in so much as a dress.

“What took you so long? You didn’t even–“ 

“Okay Connor,” Zoe interrupted again, “is it ‘Scrutinize Zoe Day’ or what? Let’s just go already, Mr. We Can’t Waste Time.” She said the last portion in an intentionally horrible interpretation of Connor.

Connor sighed as he took his sister’s hand. He snapped his fingers and they began traveling to their “victim’s” location. You see, Connor’s job was to kill – no, he didn’t like that word – _bring death upon_ whoever was ready according to fate. Zoe then took the soul and was responsible for ensuring they turn into ghosts and get whatever they deserve in the afterlife. Sometimes, if the soul had been a particularly good person, she would turn them into a beautiful constellation and hang it in the night sky. She was incredibly passionate about astronomy and loved designing the perfect star formations for a person whenever she was allowed.

The siblings were a nice duo, with Connor setting the death process in motion and Zoe finishing it. The job was originally Connor’s alone, but it was foreseen at his birth that the occupation for which he was made would be taxing on his soul. So he was given a little sister to lighten the load.

Even with the occupational help, being surrounded by death can get to a person. Connor quickly developed severe depression after he began his duties. There were good days, and there were bad days. Zoe decided early on that she wanted to give him more good days than bad ones. She acted nonchalant when he got suspicious of her every now and then, but the rest of the time she was trying to make him laugh, or smile, or think about anything other than what troubled him. It worked most of the time, but Zoe was there to fix things when it didn’t work, too.

So yeah, it was a nice duo.

* * *

Alana didn’t have a nice duo.

Sure, she had the other two muses, but she never felt at home with them. The other two women were always obsessing over mortal heroes rather than doing their jobs. Alana simply didn’t understand it. These were mortal men who, though muscular and heroic now, die either painfully or peacefully. She didn’t understand how they even found them worthy of attention, much less attractive. The three muses were immortal, after all, so dating a mortal would mean breaking sacred rules _and_ they would eventually have to watch their lover die as they lived on forever.

Alana greatly preferred being alone. She had all of the brains but none of the spotlight; exactly what her life needed. No nonsense, no distractions, just genius. Sure, her work was a lot of pressure, especially with all these scholars popping up, expected to make groundbreaking process in their work every day. But it was relatively easy to ignore that when it meant spending endless hours in her library doing what she loved: learning, creating, and helping to shape what tomorrow looked like.

Plus, her library was fucking _huge_.

So Alana didn’t need a nice duo, didn’t even want one.

Until she accidentally met Zoe.


	2. I Would've Remembered That Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow thanks for sticking around for chapter 2!

Alana was beyond excited for today. She was assigned her greatest project yet: giving knowledge to one of the greatest historical writers of the time. He was writing his newest work, prophesied to be his most successful and influential one yet. Alana had been working on ideas for this project all week, and was finally ready to sit down and be his muse for the day.

She entered the house slowly, and crept up the stairs. She could tell which room was his because she could hear hushed conversation from the end of the hall. _Maybe he has acquaintances with him_? Alana thought. Walking up to the door, she began to notice two immortal energies in the room. Running through the list of possible current scenarios, she couldn’t find many that made sense, except…

Oh _hell_ no.

She burst through the door to find two gods standing on either side of the author, who was seemingly unconscious. The taller one, a familiar-looking male dressed in dark clothing, was startled by her entry, but the shorter paid her no mind.

“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?”

He backed away from the writer, a look of bewilderment on his pale face. 

“…I could ask the same about you, you…muse, if I’m guessing correctly?” he said cautiously.

“Damn right I am, and if you’re thinking about doing _anything_ to him you can drop it right now." Alana was primarily know to be calm and keep to herself, but she’ll be damned if anything gets between her and her most valued assignment.

The male turned to his partner, who still had not acknowledged Alana’s presence. He looked slightly irritated as he half-whispered to her.

“Zoe! A little help here?”

The girl – Zoe – turned to face Alana, her face twisted in annoyance. As soon as their eyes met, however, both girls’ furious composures melted away. They stared at each other for an awkwardly large amount of seconds before the other god cleared his throat.

“So um, did I miss something? Or did you… what the hell did you do to my sister?” he asked, becoming increasingly more agitated throughout his fragmented sentences.

At this Zoe snapped out of her trance. Her face shifted into stone cold indifference. “I’m fine, Con. What are you doing here?” she pressed, turning first to her brother and then back to Alana.

Alana stepped back, flustered. “I’m um, here for my job?” she started, looking down at her feet, “for, you know, knowledge. I’m a muse and so I do… muse stuff. With knowledge. Which is what I’m doing here. For that guy, right there,” at this she pointed to the writer.

The taller god scowled slightly. “We know what muses do. Anyways, you have to have the wrong guy, because we were sent here to kill him.”

Alana froze. He seemed familiar, and now she knew why. This was Connor Murphy, the god of death. Which meant that Zoe was the second half of the famous Murphy Siblings. She had heard of them before, but she’d never seen Zoe. Alana knew she would’ve remembered that face because oh boy, _that face_. Zoe was tanner than her brother, with some freckles from being in the sun. Her eyes were a perfect shade of brown, and pieces of dirty blonde hair framed her ovular face. Alana immediately knew there was something different about her; she was different from any other person in this entire world.

Her thoughts were promptly interrupted as Connor spoke again.

“Did you hear me? You have the wrong guy. Scram.” Connor said, still irritated. He looked at his black fingernails, paying no more attention to Alana. She got the hint that he didn’t want to repeat himself again.

Normally, Feminist I-Love-My-Job-More-Than-Anything Alana would’ve marched up to this snobby son of a bitch and slapped him upside the head for speaking to her that way. But Feminist I-Love-My-Job-More-Than-Anything Alana was taking a vacation, swimming in the foggy mess that was Alana’s lovestruck brain.

“Okay, got it. Sorry…” she said cautiously, leaving the room quickly as Zoe shot her a look of… what? Sympathy? Feelings? Pity? Alana didn’t know.

Leaving the room she knew a few things were certain. First of all, she understood why she wasn’t head-over-heels for guys like the other muses: she was head-over-heels for girls instead. Well, one girl at least. Which brings us to the second realization: Feminist I-Love-My-Job-More-Than-Anything Alana was now incorrect. She loved Zoe more than anything now (Alana is crushing HARD.) And finally, she realized that the other goddess probably didn’t feel that same way about her whatsoever. All Alana could think about was her uncaring face, which at first she saw emotion in, but hardened too quickly to be capable of loving Alana. She sighed as she reentered her library, but was too distracted by the cute, messy-haired girl she had just had the pleasure of meeting to do any work. Alana hoped it would go away soon.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t go away.

* * *

Zoe waited until the door closed behind Alana before she turned to swat Connor’s shoulder.

“What the hell is wrong with you?"

"She put you in some kind of trance! What was I supposed to do?” Connor exclaimed, glaring at her for a moment.

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe NOT act like a dick to her? She was hot!”

Connor’s mouth curled into a smug grin. “So that’s what it was, huh? My baby sis is in looooove!” he taunted, drawing out the last word.

“Shut the fuck up. Let’s just finish this guy and go home.” Zoe snapped, attempting to smother her grin because yeah, she’s pretty sure she is.


	3. So Hard To Find

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is based off a prompt in which Cupid gets really drunk at some guy's house and cries about how hard it is to find said guy's soulmate  
> which is totally NOT the entire reason I made jared a love god and made him and Evan roommates. pssh no what are you talking about.
> 
> anyways the point is I am *throws glitter* unoriginal
> 
> it's also worth noting that I have never had alcohol, and although I have done a lot of research and combined said research with ideas from other fics and personal headcanons, this is probably inaccurate.
> 
> enjoy.

Evan was exhausted. He had just finished a long day of saving tree nymphs from the deforestation crisis, un-polluting lakes, and ensuring safety for foolish mountain climbers.

Upon arriving at his home, he opened the door with a wave of his hand and stumbled through the doorway. To his surprise, all the lights were off in the house, except for a soft blue light coming from the kitchen. Jared almost always worked from home, with exceptions arising when other love gods were too busy and Jared had to take their place in the field. Jared, though incredible with arrows, preferred to do the matchmaking behind a computer and send his minions to shoot people up to become couples. It was a magical process.

But it was no matter. Evan assumed Jared wasn’t home and just forgot to shut down his laptop.

Evan started walking towards the room’s light switch when all of a sudden he heard noises. Were those…sobs?

“Jared?” Evan called out. The question hung in the air, and Evan grew frightened when he didn’t get a reply. He ran to the kitchen without bothering with the lights. Sure enough he saw Jared’s form silhouetted by the screen’s blue light. His body slumped over on his desk, quiet sobs shaking his body.

Evan threw on the lights and went to kneel by Jared’s chair.

“Shh, hey, it’s okay. It’s me. What’s wrong?”

Jared lifted his head and peered at Evan, seemingly taking a minute to recognize his roommate. He looked at his screen again before turning back to poor, puzzled Evan.

“You! You’re what’s wrong!” he said, and Evan immediately noticed the alcohol on his breath. He sat there mildly shocked for a moment before looking around the room. Papers and books were all over the floor. Jared wasn’t a very organized person, but he was never this messy. He also counted about 4 empty wine bottles scattered around the room.

Evan turned to face Jared, standing over the smaller god. “Are you drunk?”

Jared whistled a single note and then smiled a crooked grin. “Nah man, the room jus’ starts spinning sometimes. Occ’pational hazard.” he said, trying to sound sarcastic but only managing to slur. Evan shot him a look of both anger and pity. He helped Jared over to their couch and asked him to explain what exactly Evan had done.

“It’s just YOU, man. Somebody s’ gotta like you. You gotta be in looooovee,” he started, his wasted brain not even attempting to sound sober anymore, “but who? Whoooo?” he dragged, trying to shake Evan’s shoulders but only managing to get halfway there before he forgot how to use his limbs. He frowned at his useless arms and forgot about the conversation for a minute.

“That’s reassuring to hear… the fucking love god can’t even find someone who would like me.”

“Hey!” Jared whined, trying to glare at his friend. “You can have s’me love! You’re GREAT and a lotta people would wanna be with you.” Jared reached out and booped Evan’s nose. At this he smiled. Drunk or not, Jared was there for him.

“It’s just the system! You’re a hard match, y’know that bud? I can’t find ANYONE who goes well with ma boy!” Jared blurted.

Evan sighed. He never really thought he needed a soulmate, but it kind of hurt to know that he may not get one.

“Don’ feel bad! You’re just…hmm…too cool! Ev Hansen is too cool!” Jared slurred, interrupting Evan’s thoughts.

 _“Too cool.” Ironic._ Evan thought. He’d never been cool enough, so this was a twist of fate he didn’t expect.

He looked over at Jared, who was currently half asleep in a position that seemed far more uncomfortable than any sober person would put up with. Evan chuckled and grabbed Jared’s wrists, pulling him to his feet and leading him off to bed. After Jared fell asleep, Evan sat awake in his own bed for most of the night, thinking about his apparently nonexistent soulmate.

* * *

Jared woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. He vowed to himself to never have four bottles of wine in one night ever again. He dragged himself out of bed and trudged to the bathroom to find some pain medication (the gods, apparently, were exempt to all pain EXCEPT hangover migraines. Thanks, Dionysus.)

He looked in the mirror and sighed. “Ugh, I feel like _death_.” he said to himself.

 _Wait a minute. WAIT ONE FUCKING MINUTE,_ he thought. He peeked into Evan’s room to find him sound asleep before rushing to his desk. He looked through his notes to find the only other person whose lover was impossible to assign.

Connor Murphy, the god of death, in love with Evan Hansen, the god of life. The thought made Jared giggle, but he knew it was perfect. It had to be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kleinsen if you squint but that's not the intent. just bros being bros
> 
> written based on my headcanon that jared is an obnoxious drunk who loses all ability to coherently speak when he's wasted and you can rip the hc from my cold dead hands


	4. If I Could Tell Her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what’s this? an actual structure for my fic? w o a h  
> for now every other chapter is gonna be zolana centric and the others will be tree bros centric until they all unite as a tight knit family I guess? (yes that was a falsettos reference *SOBS*  
> and what's this other this? an actually decent chapter length? with ACTUALLY DECENT descriptions of scenery and overall sort-of-not-shitty content?  
> color me sh00k
> 
> also: hECK midterms are stressing me out but once those are done I'm gonna try to put together some semblance of a posting schedule.

Zoe could not get over that beautiful muse. She was sure Aphrodite handcrafted her because she was the most beautiful deity, or mortal, or _anyone_ that she had ever laid her eyes on.

But at the same time she was terrified of her. Zoe had never been in love – she scoffed at intimacy and dismissed desire as misplaced greed. Her newfound crush sent her heart into a power struggle: sinking in dread while also flying with happiness.

She needed help dealing with her feelings, but who? Connor would just make fun of her. There was Evan’s roommate… what was his name? Jude? Jacob? She didn’t know, but at least that choice would be unbiased. Or, of course, she could go to her best friend Evan. The two had been friends for centuries; Evan felt at home around her, and Zoe loved how Evan listened without judging her. They loved to chat while hiking under the night sky. It was a combination of their two passions: Zoe’s stars and Evan’s land.

They had just finished an evening nature hike when she decided to confide in him. Zoe and Evan reached a hill and stopped to sit down.

“I can tell you anything, right? Like you’ve always said I can tell you anything, but is that like _anything_ anything or–“

“Woah, calm down. You’re starting to sound like me,” Evan said, a nervous laugh escaping his mouth, “of course, you can tell me anything at all.”

“Okay, well, it’s just…the other day I was with my brother and…well…” she stammered, hoping the moonlight wasn’t bright enough to reveal her growing blush, “therewasthisgirlandIthinkIloveher.” she finished, forcing out her words.

Evan stared at her for a minute. Then he grinned at her with sparking eyes. The darkness concealed the entire size of it, but she glared at what she could see.

“Stop it! She was so beautiful and she just had this aura about her that was just…incredible.” Zoe continued as she turned bright red.

“You should ask her out." 

Zoe’s jaw dropped. “Are you _insane_? I could never! I don’t even know her name!”

Evan leaned forward, lowering his voice slightly. “Do you know anything about her? I’m sure there was something that made her so memorable.”

“She was a muse. Trying to…do something with knowledge?”

Evan gasped. “You like _Alana Beck_!?” he squealed, failing to conceal his excitement.

“Would you shut up?” she said as she memorized her name. Alana Beck. “…but yes, yes I do. What am I supposed to say to her?”

“You say that as if I would know any good advice for that... um, okay. What did you like about her?”

Zoe sighed. “She was so…bright? No, maybe warm? Um…” she stammered, searching for the word that perfectly described how Alana had filled her sense so quickly, “I guess she suddenly made me feel at home. She brought this serenity to the room and I’ve never felt anything like it.” she finished, smiling dreamily.

“Then tell her that. Tell her all the details; everything she made you feel,” he said, smiling sadly. He was happy for Zoe, but his heart dropped at the reminder that he might never feel that feeling.

Zoe noticed his expression, and quickly pondered whether or not she should let it go. She decided against that.

“What about you? You must have guys lining up to date you. Is there anyone you’re madly in love with?” she said, awkwardly, scowling at her forced sentences. 

Evan let out a breathy laugh. “A line? That’s funny. Actually, Jared told me the other day that I don’t have a true love. I’m stuck, just as me.”

Zoe felt heartbroken that Evan, who deserved love more than anyone else, would probably never get it. She tried not to let it show, though, because Evan would hate being pitied by her. Instead she tried to play it off cheerfully.

“Well, don’t worry! There has to be someone. I won’t allow it to be any other way.” she said firmly. Evan laughed for real this time.

“Thanks, Zo.”

They sat in silence for the rest of the night, stargazing and enjoying the company of one another. Zoe’s head flashed with visions of her newfound crush, while Evan drowned in the feeling of bareness in his heart.

* * *

Three days later, Zoe and Evan were standing at the door of Alana’s library.

“So this is the place…” Zoe said

“Yeah, it is. Now go get your girl.” Evan said excitedly. At this, Zoe groaned. She was nervous, and she hated that feeling more than anything.

She turned towards the door, looking back at Evan one more time. He grinned and gave her two thumbs-ups. She took a deep breath and faced the door once again as he hid from view. She knocked twice, and Alana answered almost immediately. She looked shocked momentarily, but quickly regained her composure and smiled at Zoe. 

“Hello there…”

“Zoe. We met the other day.“ she greeted.

“Zoe! Right! Come on in.” Alana said.  She already knew her name, of course, but wanted to play it cool if she wanted any chance with this girl. Judging my their meeting the other day, she and her brother were the definition of stone; Alana guessed they didn’t tolerate very much flustered interaction.

Zoe followed Alana inside, looking at the walls in a daze. The room was huge, three parts rectangular with the fourth wall forming a broad curve. This wall was glass floor-to-ceiling, it’s curve partially enveloping a large cedar desk that held mountains of paperwork and books. The window looked out at a vast landscape of hills that eventually dropped to a cliff, flaunting the suddenly crisp line of the horizon. The other three walls held shelves and shelves of books and journals. Upon further inspection, Zoe realized they were simultaneously color-coded _and_ alphabetically sorted. Ladders floated on wheels in between lavish aqua blue couches positioned at the base of each bookcase.

“This is…incredible.” Zoe said, not knowing what else to say. She was, quite simply, in awe of everything around her.

“Uh, I know. I love it here. It suits me so well, I think.” Alana said awkwardly, her brain half-melted by the girl in front of her. “Anyways, what can I do for you?”

“Oh, well, I need to…write a speech. Or more like a letter I guess. Actually, I really just need to brainstorm ideas for a letter because it’s probably better if I do the actual writing part. NOT THAT YOU’RE A BAD WRITER! I mean maybe you are because I don’t know you that well. But I think you are probably a great writer. I just mean I should write it because they always say it’s the thought that counts and I need every last thought to help me out on this.” Zoe took a shaky breath before continuing. “And you have knowledge about that kind of thing, right? I mean I was just thinking because that day you were gonna help that writer guy and–“

“Yes, I can help you.” she said with a quiet giggle, stopping Zoe’s rambling.

 _Man, was that adorable or what?_ Alana's brain teased.

_Shut up, brain._

Alana pulled up a second chair to her desk so they could sit together and started to clear some space to write. “So, what exactly do you want your letter to say?” she said as she quickly threw papers into a filing cabinet.

“Well, I need to write a love letter. There’s uh, a special someone that doesn’t really know me that well, but I wanna take my chances with them.”

Alana stopped short. “Oh,” she forced, a slight bitterness in her tone. Whoever Zoe wants to write to must be pretty lucky. “So um, he doesn’t know you that well you said?” she continued, trying to shake off how hurt she was that her feelings of love weren’t mutual.

“It’s a she, actually, and yeah. We only met a little while ago.”

“Well then, we should start with what you noticed about her. First impressions end up being the most important, so what did you see in her that makes you want to write the letter?” she asked matter-of-factly. _Put your feelings aside, Alana,_ she thought to herself, _you’re just doing your job._

“She…” Zoe started, searching for the words that could describe the girl sitting next to her. “Well, there’s really nothing like her smile. It’s sort of subtle, and perfect, and real. And um, I don’t think she knows how wonderful that smile can make someone feel.”

Alana jotted down notes, desperately wishing that she could be the subject of Zoe’s sentiments. Zoe wondered if Alana would catch on.

“And I saw that she scribbles stars on the cuffs of her jeans.” Zoe said with a small smile. It was one of the first things she noticed about Alana’s attire when they met.

She scanned Alana’s expression, seeing as she hadn’t made eye contact with Zoe since they sat down. She couldn’t tell if she was indifferent or just doing her job.

 _Time to up the drama, Zo,_ she told herself.

She stood up suddenly, startling Alana as she quickly paced in front of the desk. “Oh, oh my gods! I can’t do this. How am I supposed to write to her? I could _never_ say what she wanted to hear.”

Alana looked at her longingly, and she had to remind herself that Zoe would never want to look at her the same way. “Look, you seem like a pretty nice girl. I’m sure your crush will like whatever you tell her.”

Zoe huffed. “That’s exactly it! If I could tell her everything I see, if I could tell her how she’s everything to me… things would change so much. She’d look at me in a completely different light, and I don’t know if it’d be good or bad.” Zoe said frantically. “We’re a million worlds apart, and I don’t know how I would even start, if I could tell her.” 

“I know the feeling. I’m in the same situation with a girl right now, actually.” Alana said, standing up slowly. “I keep it all inside my head. Everything I see, I left unsaid. And I really want to, but I just can’t talk to her. I can’t find the way.” 

Zoe’s face lit up, happy that Alana recognized her experience. She ignored the fact that the girl in question could be literally anyone, because for right now Zoe _had_ to believe Alana was smitten over her.

“Exactly! What do you do when there’s this great divide?” Zoe pondered.

“She just seems so far away…”

“And what do you do when the distance is too wide?”

“Geez. I may be a muse of knowledge, but when I see her, it’s like I don’t know anything.”

“And how do you say, ‘I love you’?” Zoe said, looking at her shoes.

Alana fiddled with the hem of her dress. “’I love you…’” she repeated. they both looked up at each other quickly. 

“I love you…” they said in unison, unwilling to break their sudden eye contact. They stared at one another for what seemed like a millennium before Zoe shattered the moment. She climbed onto the desk and kissed Alana quickly before she had time to think better of it. Soon, she pulled away, falling to the floor as the papers under her knees slipped from underneath her in her sudden frenzy.

Alana, stunned by the insane variety of things that had happened in the past ten seconds, ran to the other side of the desk as Zoe landed with a thud.

“Are you alright?” she asked in a panic.

Zoe sat up, looking at Alana in a daze, before busting out laughing. At this Alana started to giggle too. They laughed until they were out of breath, and Alana finally helped Zoe off the ground.

“So that was…” Alana started. 

“A first kiss for the history books!” Zoe finished, laughing again.

"Indeed it was."

* * *

“Connor! You will _never fucking believe_ what happened today!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! there's more trash coming soon. in the meantime, if you'd be so kind as to hit that kudos button and leave a comment, I'd appreciate it very much xx
> 
> I sound like a youtuber
> 
> ok bye


	5. The Mosquito Bite of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!
> 
> sorry I've been gone for so long. crippling depression is one hell of a writer's block :)))  
> anyways I'm posting two chapters to quench y'all's (probably nonexistent) DEH thirst and now that school is starting again and I'm forced to be motivated I will be posting much more often! I'm not sure how long I want this fic to be, I guess we'll just have to see where it takes me :)

Jared soon realized he would not be able to get Evan and Connor together on his own, so he elected to call Zoe.

“Hello?” Zoe croaked, sounding as if she had just woken up.

“It’s me.”

“Okay Adele. Who is this actually, and why the fuck did you wake me at 5 in the morning?” she said, voice dripping with annoyance. Jared glanced at the clock, having not taken the time of day into account. _Whoops._

“Jared Kleinman, the god of love and roommate of your best friend, and I have an important declaration concerning him and your immediate family.”

“Alright, cut the crap. What’s going on? Is Evan okay?” she said, sounding less groggy. At this, Zoe could almost _hear_ Jared’s grin through the phone.

“Oh, he’s just great. So is Connor. You see, my boy and yours are soulmates, but-“

Zoe shrieked, drawing a grumpy “what the fuck, Zo?” from the next room. She covered the phone and yelled “sorry Sleeping Beauty!” before returning to her conversation with Jared in a hushed tone.

“They’re _what?_ ”

“You heard me.”

“But they’re so different! Evan is all happy and shit! He makes stuff grow! My brother just takes the life out of everything.” 

“Look, I was drunk a few nights ago night, and very hungover the morning after that, and from the experience I realized they’re meant to be. I don’t make the rules.”

Zoe scowled. “Yeah, actually, you do.” she said as Jared decided that mentioning his intoxication affecting his work wasn’t helping his case. 

“As I was saying,” Jared started, paying no attention to Zoe’s confusion, “Evan will be easy to set up since I live with him, but your brother is an emo recluse. I can’t go out and give him his love juice without your help.”

“Love juice? Okay what the fu–“

“You know what I mean! Cupid’s arrow! Geez, you need to get out more.”

Zoe thought for a moment before deciding that the more good people in Connor and Evan’s respective lives, the better. “Fine, fine, I’ll give this whole situation a chance. What do you need me to do?”

* * *

Zoe had to admit that the more she thought about her brother and Evan as a couple, the more she liked the idea. Currently they were standing outside their favorite restaurant a few blocks away from Evan and Jared’s house. Just a few hours after she spoke with Jared, she invited her brother to dinner, saying it was “her treat” even though they didn’t have any income and didn’t have to pay for their food. Connor doubted the legitimacy of the claim, but here they were, waiting for a table.

“I’m so glad we’re in this century. _Friends_ is the greatest creation known to man.” Connor said, earning a scoff from Zoe.

“You say that about every century. It’s always something different with you.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “What can I say? I have an ever-evolving-but-always-pretty-great taste in entertainment.”3

While they continued bickering playfully, Jared got into position. Since Zoe was nice enough to get her brother out in the open, his job became much easier. All he had to do was aim the arrow and–

“Ow.” Connor said without much emotion as he slapped the sudden sting on his neck.

Zoe suppressed her smile as she looked at the small, red blemish on Connor’s neck, the arrow having conveniently disappeared on impact. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it was probably just a mosquito.” Connor said, shrugging it off.

* * *

"Where are we _going?_ ” Evan whined as Jared half-dragged him by his arm. He hadn’t said a word to him since this morning, simply grabbing his hand and pulling him as he pleased. She and Evan were running through the streets of Olympus until they reached Zoe’s house. She and her brother lived in a gray, Victorian-style mansion with black shutters on the windows and glossy black shingles on the freshly rained-on roof. Evan paused at the sight.

“Why are we here? You don’t spend any time with Zoe.”

Jared dropped Evan’s hand, a mischievous grin on his face. “No, I don’t, she’s annoying and I don’t know why you hang out with her. But–“

“ _Jared._ ”

“Oh please, you know I’m kidding. She’s nice enough, and she does some pretty cool shit with the stars.”

“Understatement of the year…” Evan mumbled.

Jared pretended not to hear him. “Anyway, we’re not here to see Zoe. We’re here to see Connor.”

Evan scowled at his roommate. “Connor? He’s never said a word to me,” he said. _But boy, is he pretty. The way his hair falls around his face is so beautiful, and his lips look so soft and kissable and-_

_Wait._

_What?_

Evan shook off his incredibly bisexual thoughts, mentally wiping the dreamy haze from his brain. “I’m fairly sure he’s freaked out by the prospect of me bringing things to life and him killing them.”

Jared stared at him. “I think that’s _your_ fear, Evan.”

“Shut up,” he said, not paying much attention to the remark and instead trying to figure out why he had such a sudden interest in Connor.

Jared sighed and looked over his friend. He straightened his collar before pushing him towards to door.

“Off you go now, shoo!” he called to Evan, who scowled at the path leading to the large front door. He hesitantly made his way to the front steps and lightly knocked on the door. Zoe opened the door almost immediately.

“Thanks, Jared!” she called, grabbing Evan and pulling him inside.

“Ow! Hey! I’d really prefer to walk places on my own, without people touching me and moving me around, _please._ ” he said, glaring in Zoe’s general direction.

“Whatever, sorry. Look, I’m going on a date with Alana and I forgot I had plans with Connor tonight too. He’s all pissed at me and I though maybe you would hang out with him? Now that I’m dating I need him to have friends other than his sister… for his own sake. Please, can you just stay here, Evan?” At this, Zoe made her trademark puppy dog face as Evan thought on the situation.

If he was honest, Zoe’s excuse made no sense whatsoever. Why was she acting like Connor’s mom? Besides, she had the best memory Evan had ever seen. She definitely wouldn’t have accidentally booked two things on the same night…

But then again, time alone with Connor could help him gauge the depth his current thoughts about the boy. One quick lapse in judgment later, he agreed.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I owe you one.” Zoe quickly embraced Evan and then grabbed her purse. Evan paused as she walked away.

“Wait, why did Jared know about this?” he said, turning back to her in confusion. However, she was already out the door by the time Evan asked.

 _Oh well_ , Evan thought, still immensely confused about everything happening. Why has Jared been acting so weird lately? Why have Zoe and him seemed like they actually talk to each other on the regular now? And most importantly, why the _hell_ was he suddenly gay for Connor Murphy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> connor seems like underneath all the emoness he's a Friends person thank you and goodnight


	6. Can We Please Stop Pretending We're Not Both Feeling This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so remember when I said I’ll do zolana every other chapter?  
> yeah well
> 
> chapter title from Pretending by Anthony Amorim

Evan walked further into the house, stopping when he saw Connor’s tall figure in the kitchen.

“Um, I-I’m, uh, hi?” he stammered, surprised as the words came out of his mouth. How long has it been since he fumbled over his words? He guessed it was the last time he was around someone he didn’t know like the back of his hand.

So it had been a while.

Connor turned, smiling a little when he saw Evan’s blue eyes. “Hi. So Zoe has you here to babysit me?”

“NO! No no no, I think she just, she just wanted you to h-have a friend. SorryifyouwantmetogoI’lljust–“

“Relax, Evan. I was just kidding.” he said, looking him up and down before stopping at his eyes once again. His expression turned dreamy for a minute before he found he’d gotten lost in them, the realization snapping his face back to its usual somber appearance. “You wanna go smoke weed?”

Evan choked on air. “Do I want to _what?_ ”

“You heard me.” Connor said, not bothering to elaborate.

 _This is just great,_ Evan thought, _I’m stuck here with my possibly-crush who wants me to do drugs with him even though we’ve literally never spoken before. Awesome._

And if Connor didn’t have Evan wrapped around his finger already, Evan would’ve said no. Regardless of the fact that, for them, there were no consequences to weed after the high, Evan didn’t want or need that experience in his life.

But he said yes anyway.

Two hours later they’ve gone through at least two joints and are now sitting on the couch in Connor’s gigantic room. Evan was hanging upside down and trying to read the posters on the far side of the room, and giggling every time he messed up. Connor, meanwhile, was admiring the beautiful boy in front of him. He wasn’t sure if it was the lowered inhibitions or his love of spontaneity talking, but he felt every fiber of his being wanting to reach down and kiss him.

_But surely he doesn’t feel the same way. He probably doesn’t even want to be my friend, much less my boyfriend. There’s no way I’m gonna say anythi–_

“You’re pretty.” Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_.

 _Nice going Connor! You just ruined everything! Stupid weed with the stupid drugs in it making me say stuff that’s gonna get me into trouble._ He kept thinking like this until Evan broke his train of thought.

“Connor? Earth to Connor? Did you hear me?” Evan said loudly.

“Hm? Sorry, uh no. I didn’t.” Connor blushed a little as he looked at Evan.

“I said,” Evan started, dragging out the word “said” as he sat up and loosely draped an arm around Connor’s shoulders, “you’re pretty too. You’re so very handsome and I like you a lot, Connor Murphy.” The usual scream of Evan’s anxiety had been muffled into a low hum, and for the moment, drugged-up Evan didn’t care one bit what he said or did. He looked into Connor’s reddened eyes, finding the boy staring back at him with an equal amount of passion.

 _Here we go_ is the phrase that went through both of their heads at once as they leaned in to kiss one another.

* * *

Evan woke up in a very comfortable bed with a very comfortable warmth next to him. That warmth happened to have his arms wrapped around Evan, who realized he was tangled when he tried to roll over. He froze, taking in his surroundings as quietly and motionlessly as possible.

_This is not my room._

_This is not my bed._

_That warmth beside me is_ Connor Murphy, _the one who I got high with and made out with for hours last night._

_Connor Murphy, who left purple marks on my collarbones._

_Connor Murphy, who had his tongue in my mouth._

_Connor Murphy, who quietly snores when he sleeps and oh my gods is that adorable and – okay Evan, that’s enough._

_Connor Murphy probably didn’t mean any of what he said or did last night._

The last thought stuck with Evan as he lay there silently, debating how to get out of his current situation as soon as possible.

Around half an hour later, Connor stirred next to Evan, opening his eyes before pausing. He sat up quickly and pinched himself like a little kid to make sure Evan was completely real. Evan almost laughed as he saw Connor’s face venture through the stages of this morning-after discovery: shock, doubt, panic, remembering last night, more panic, confusion, and finally, whatever surreal stress haze they were in now.

“So…” Connor began, not knowing how to finish his sentence. 

“Lookyouprobablydidn’tmeananythingyousaidlastnightImeanwewereprettyhighandifyouwantmetoleaveItotallywill.” Evan forced, his breathing more rapid now.

“Hey, calm down. That’s not really how weed works. All it does is lower inhibitions, Hansen. In other words, we didn’t do anything we didn’t already want to do.” 

They both looked at each other for a minute before Evan simply said “okay” and kissed Connor again.

They lazily made out for an hour or so before Zoe burst into the room.

“What’s up homos? Who wants eggs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!


	7. A Little More Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With every incredible up comes a devastating down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: depiction of self harm (not detailed, but aftermath is mentioned once)
> 
> here's a little angst for my babies managing their illnesses together.
> 
> PLEASE READ THIS NEXT PART:  
> So this is going to be the second to last chapter of this fic. I could make it a lot longer, but I feel like a lot of the mental issues that DEH focuses on are rendered irrelevent in an immortality universe where deities are supposed to be free from pain, suffering, and death. So at this point I'm just going to wrap it up in that really frustrating way that (hopefully) leaves you wanting more, because I'd rather write two more great ending chapters than give you five more short, cheap chapters. You guys don't deserve that. Thanks for reading.

“Zoe, I’m fine,” Alana snapped at her girlfriend in response to her 50th repetition of the same question.

“Alana! You’ve been in your office for weeks, sitting there almost _literally_ pulling your hair out! You cancelled on me for our double date with my brother and Evan, and all of our private dates too for that matter. There is no way in Hades I am letting you go with an ‘I’m fine.’” Zoe screamed, not caring how harsh she sounded. She was known for almost always being nice and adorably sarcastic, but when she did get angry, she got _angry_.

“No, you’re right, I’m not fine, my girlfriend is just constantly off who-knows-where doing who-knows-what all the time and can’t even be reached in some of the places she goes!”

Zoe scoffed. “Excuse me for doing my job. I travel. Deal with it. It’s much more fun to get out rather than wasting away in solitude.”

Alana stood up suddenly. “You know what? It is more fun to get out. But I would hope one could see how that gets a little difficult when I am deciding how people’s lives will change every single day!” She stepped towards Zoe, narrowing her eyes. “I’ve started twenty projects _just this week_. Why? Because it’s my fucking job, Zoe! Can’t you just deal with that? Let me be fine! Let me keep working by myself and not talking to anyone and not eating for days at a time and goddammit Zoe just let me be—“

“Back up.” Zoe’s face said, still stone cold but now with a twinge of… something Alana couldn’t decipher.

“Excuse me? You don’t get to just cut me off and make me not—“

“For the love of the gods Alana have you not been eating?” So that’s what it was in her face. Worry. It was swallowing all of her features now, melting her face into a concerned pout.

“I’m— maybe… maybe I get so swallowed in everything that I don’t get enough time to call you or go on dates or even eat or sleep, Zoe,” her eyes were filling up now, “but there are so many expectations and the weight of the world is on me all the time! Everyone needs me to do something I can’t do or be someone I can’t be or make time for something I don’t have time for and I just—“ she interrupted herself with a sob, finding it suddenly difficult to breathe.

“Hey, hey, shh, in through your nose out through your mouth, Lana.” Zoe said as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and leading her to one of the couches in Alana’s library.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alana said as her hyperventilating subsided a few minutes later.

Zoe rubbed circles into her back. “I know.”

* * *

Connor awoke to salty cheeks, a hard surface underneath him, a thick fog surrounding his brain, and someone pounding on the door.

“Connor! Open up or I’ll… I’ll… I will break down the door!” Evan stammered nervously. He sincerely hoped he did not have to break down anything anytime soon.

Connor, who could just barely make out his boyfriend’s voice, tried to stand but couldn’t. His arms were filled with lead; his legs encased in steel. It took all of his willpower, every bit of energy left in him, and the desperate longing for Evan to tell him everything was alright to get off the hardwood floor.   Where was he, by the way? How had he gotten there, and why had he passed out and slept until two in the afternoon?

_Oh right,_ Connor thought with an almost-laugh, _depression._

He opened the door slowly, slouching against the doorframe, as it was currently the only thing able to hold him up. 

Upon seeing his boyfriend, the color drained from Evan’s face. “Connor? You look…what have you been doing?” He said, tenderly placing a hand on his cheek even tough the expression on his face told Connor he was very afraid to do this. He had good reason to be afraid, though; Connor’s face was pale as ever, with his cheekbones a bit too defined and deep purple bags under his eyes. His gray, ragged t-shirt had hardened, salty tear stains around the neck, and his long hair was greasy and matted. His cold, slender fingers weakly reached up to touch Evan’s hand, which made him notice the fresh red slits on his wrist.

Evan sucked in a breath as he ushered Connor inside and softly closed the door (Evan was in the mood to slam it out of panic, but he opted to make less noise for Connor’s sake.) He sat Connor down on the couch in the front room before running to the kitchen to grab water and food. All he could find was two slices of cold pizza, but it would have to do.

He hesitantly reentered the room. “Connor, baby, how long has it been since you’ve eaten?”

Connor counted on his fingers for a minute before giving up. “Maybe five days?”

“ _Five days?”_ Evan repeated incredulously before composing himself. “Con, mortals can only go three days without food before they die. I know that doesn’t completely apply to us—”

“I wish it did.”

“ _But_ , you still face the consequences! Baby, you look like a skeleton.” Evan sat down next to him, placing a hand on Connor’s knee and holding out the plate of pizza. “Please, just a little?” he begged, trying not to cry. Evan hated when Connor got like this; a shell of the funny, well-versed-in-everything-mortal boy whom he fell in love with.

_Fuck mental illness_ , he said in his head, remembering how Connor whispers it to himself whenever he calms Evan down from a panic attack.

Connor took a long look at the pizza before taking a slice off the plate. He nibbled at it for about ten minutes before realizing how incredibly hungry he was and scarfing down the rest. Evan smiled a bit, at which Connor melted but tried not to show it. 

“You know, pizza doesn’t make me not depressed.”

“You know that I know that, Con. It just makes you not dead.” he said as he wrapped an arm around Connor’s shoulder. Connor melted into him, thanking everything in existence for his boyfriend’s small but comforting form.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Connor shook his head, hugging Evan tighter. 

“Hey lovely, you’ve never told me your favorite food…”

“Ice cream.” Connor stated simply, not bothering to elaborate.

Evan smiled slightly. “Ice cream is good. I like mint, how about you?”

“Rocky road… or that kind with the charcoal in it.” Connor said as he untangled himself from his boyfriend’s arms, pushing Evan backwards into a laying-down position on the couch. He scooted his body up next to his boyfriend and put his head on his chest.

“Connor.”

Connor hummed in response.

“You need to shower.”

“Sleep.”

Evan sighed. “Sleep, then shower.”

Connor moved a bit to be more comfortable, and his breathing evened out into sleep in no time, his warmth-radiating boyfriend’s heartbeat lulling him right into slumber. Evan closed his eyes too, letting his thoughts drift away with his consciousness.

Connor wasn’t better. Evan wasn’t better either. But they did make each other a little more okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I understand that a slice of pizza and talking about random things doesn’t heal depression. I’m just projecting because my girlfriend and I talk about whatever happened in our day whenever we need to get the other person’s mind off their depression or anxiety or whatever it may be so yeah


	8. For Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter!! yay!!
> 
> I know this fic is so incredibly shitty as it is but here's a vague ending because I hate that this is unfinished but I don't have passion or ideas for this fic anymore

“Zoe, come on! We’re going to be late!” Connor called up the stairs.

“Geez, could you stop saying that every time I take more than two seconds longer than you’d like?” Zoe called back, with the click clack of high heels soon making their way to the staircase. What Connor saw next completely surprised him. 

Zoe made her way downstairs in a long, strapless black dress with pink flowers on it. Long curls framed her face and she was wearing – shocker – makeup. That’s right. For the first time in Connor’s life he saw her wearing makeup; it was a simple look that complimented her natural features, but makeup nonetheless.

“You look…”

Zoe giggled. “Different? What, did you expect me to put no work into my appearance for tonight? For goodness sake, we’ve been trying to plan this for months, and it’s finally here!”

That much was true. Tonight, Evan, Connor, Alana, and Zoe were finally going on their double date. Zoe and Alana had been together for three months, Evan and Connor for two. They weren’t originally going to go to a particularly upscale restaurant, but since it took so long to organize they ended up changing plans and going to a black-tie establishment. Connor himself was in a black velvet suit coat and pants and a white shirt, with a thick ribbon serving as a tie.

“Shall we go see our loves?”

Zoe blushed.  “We shall.” 

* * *

Twenty minutes later they were walking to the front door of the restaurant, quickly catching a glimpse of their respective dates chatting inside. Upon reaching the table, both the Murphy siblings’ breaths were taken away. Even looked fantastic in a navy blue suit and a black bow tie, while Alana opted for a tuxedo that hugged her figure and black heels.

They exchanged hugs and kisses with their lovers before sitting down for a nice evening. The night was filled with chatter, food, and a little too much wine (resulting in Connor practically carrying a very intoxicated Evan home). The four didn’t have a care in the world.

All they could see was each other, for forever. Though that was the case with most things in this whole immortality gig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! this is now a completed work.  
> comments inflate my ego (pls inflate it, it's shriveled and dead currently. also it will inspire me to write more!) and kudos are highly appreciated as well!
> 
> scream about musicals and tv with me on my tumblr! you can also send me writing requests for new fics at: cerebral-sunshine


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